Category Archives: Poems

The [Social] Distance Between Us

The distance between us is not new
I haven’t heard from you in weeks
But now that there is only time with my thoughts
Hearing from you seems all my heart seeks

It was easier to block you out
When life went by in a blur
But now that life has been put on pause
My emotions begin to stir

Are you quarantined with your house mates?
Or maybe with your family?
Maybe you’re with another girl
It hurts that it’s not me

I self-isolated myself from you months ago
That was painful enough
But now I find myself worrying about you
Now that times are getting tough

Do you scroll through our past messages?
Do I ever cross your mind?
Do your thoughts wonder what I’m doing?
Now that we’re all housebound and confined

I wonder if your arm reaches across an empty bed
And touches the ghost of my body
It’s at unprecedented times like this
That we all could use somebody

I hope that you are keeping safe
As life as we know it falls apart
Despite the social distance between us
I’ll always hold you close in my isolated heart

– JLW, 2020

The Man with the Mo

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Beware the man with the mo, that cheeky little so and so.

He’ll take you out on a first date, surprising you with his hairy nose mate.

You’ll spend the next 4 hours drinking, laughing and interacting, despite his mouthbrow being awfully distracting.

What a lovely evening it will be, you won’t want it to end. It’ll become obvious this hairy dude is more than just a friend.

So into his pockets will go, his wallet and phone, he’ll hoist you up and carry you home.

He’ll tickle your top lip when he gives the tongue the slip. You’ll tell him watch himself, behave! But he still won’t bloody shave.

You’ll taste his drunken midnight snack – is that a Maccy D’s Big Mac?? You’ll get all fun and flirty and start to think a ‘tache could be kinda dirty…

Then you’ll get a surprising feeling, this 80s pornstar seems suddenly appealing.

And so they grow, the feelings and the mo. You realise this man ain’t so bad; he’s just supporting his fellow bros.

– JLW, 2018

The Dating App Poem

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Praise be for the dating app, I’m ready to find a handsome chap

I don’t want another Sunday night alone, it’s time to download Tinder on my phone

If I Happn to come across the one, I’ll promise more than just sexy time fun

I’ll swipe left past all the crazies, I’ll vet them all until I’ve found you baby

Fuckboys need not apply; can’t you tell I’m searching for a good wholesome guy?

I’ve had enough of your shit, I’m taking a stand, I won’t get swallowed up in your stupid dick sand

No I don’t fancy coming over to Netflix and chill, your only concern’s whether I’m on the pill

So I’ll Bumble my way through all the eligible men, just like Barbie looking for her Ken

OK Cupid it’s time to strike, aim that romantic arrow at my Magic Mike

I’ll Hinge – I mean hedge my bets on finding true love, in the words of The Weather Girls let it rain men from above

But if I have to wait for a bit that’s fine too, after all I’ve got a lifetime to spend with my boo

So in the meantime I’ll just continue to swipe until I grow tired of this dating app hype

I’ll keep on dating all the Tom, Dick and Harrys until I find the man I’m going to marry

– JLW, 2019

I Don’t Need a Man

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I don’t need a man to ghost me by text

There are a hundred of you I could choose to sext

I don’t need a man who’s selfish in bed

I’m left wanting whilst of course he got head

I don’t need a man to tell me I’m wrong

I’m a woman with opinions, I’m clever and I’m strong

I don’t need a man for my life to be fun

In the words of Eyal, “I’m not your hun, hun”

I don’t need a man to take my inner worst fears

To use them against me until I break down in tears

I don’t need a man thinking he’s done me a favour

Because I’ve got me, and that’s my true saviour

– JLW, 2019